GET BENT!

Review: Bazooka - I Want to Fuck All the Girls in My School EP

By Lisa Parisi

Oh Greece, you bring us the concept of democracy, the skull-breaking Spartans, the bombshell Aphrodite, and—what now?—a whole host of dazzling garage rock bands… Well done, you, well done. One of the latest imports from the lovely, scuzzy greatness that is sLOVEnly (did you notice the word love was in there?), is Bazooka’s—the two drummer, four-piece powerhouse that hails from Athens—EP entitled I Want to Fuck All the Girls in My School.

Crashing cymbals start the title track. Then enters a drone-y guitar, the vocals are slurry and fuzzy—is this the babble of a zombie? What does he want? To eat your brains, have his way with the cheerleading squad, hoist a revenge of the zombie rock and roll nerds… seems likely. “I Want to Fuck All the Girls in My School” is mumble-y, but in that endearing kind of way, and the drums feature prominently in this kooky, spooky world of hooliganism. You know these Athenians are up to pure mischievousness, as if the title didn’t make that apparent. I mean, we aren’t gonna get murdered (I think) but something off-kilter is looming in the fog—probably just juvenile delinquency and fooling around, but we sure as hell aren’t gonna be home by curfew. Best part: those damn “ooooooo, ooooo, ooooo, ahhhhh, ooooooo, ahhhh ahh ahh ah ahhhhh’s”—someone was eating the microphone, which is tastier than brain stew.

“Monkey Town” is the definition of ferocious. Goodbye to the spooky land of “I Want to…”(we survived) and hello to our home turf of snotty vocals, distortion, shrills, rapid chord changes, whirlwind beats, head bopping, and that warm apple pie feeling of good ol’ punkish rock and roll. It’s a short ditty, but that’s ok, that’s what repeat buttons are for; or better yet, pick up that needle on your turntable and move it back a few grooves, it always sounds better on wax anyways. Closing with “Tingle”, the fierce, high-pitched metal-ish riffs obscure what might be a spaceship landing in the background. Where the metal tangos with the punk, we have a loud, in-your-face cacophony of, well, fierceness—both musically and in attitude; someone got busted, their true colors are showing. I don’t know if I would want to cross this crew, they have bazookas, you know… Godspeed, offender, Godspeed.

So, what’s great about Bazooka’s delectable EP? We’ve partook in a revenge of the zombie nerds, ate some rock and roll pie with monkeys, and got a dose of sci-fi, metal-ish revenge all under the veneer of loud, pummeling, rocking rancor. Now if that isn’t a nice expedition, then I don’t know what is. Dig into your linty pockets and scrounge up $4.75 for the record, available through our disheveled loves over at Slovenly.